Over the weekend, I went on my very first trip alone. Normally in the past when I travel, I go with a friend or my husband. It just happened to be an all women's retreat and I opted to not invite anyone with me. The retreat offered several hot springs, three vegetarian meals a day, and since it is off grid, no electronic distractions. The entire retreat is run on hydroelectric power and everything is heated using the hot springs. The body is completely able to recover from all the burdens of cell phone towers and power lines. I've been going through some pretty big mental shifts recently and needed an opportunity to reorganize my thoughts. This place was exactly what I needed.
I went on the trip mainly to get a break from motherhood. When you are a stay at home mom, you don't really ever have a break. Even when you go on trips with your family, you are still charged with packing, laundry, making reservations, making sure everyone stays alive. That sort of thing. It would be as if my husband went on a vacation with his boss and employees. Lucky for me I have a husband who was supportive of me going. I missed him the entire time I was there. I've often heard stories of some women going on trips and not missing their husbands. I completely missed my husband and could not wait to see him again and threw my arms around him the moment I saw him. He is so kind, generous, makes me laugh and still chases after me with pats on the bottom and unmentionable squeezes. In the entire time I've known my husband in 20 years, he has only ever yelled at me once, never calls me a name and has never made comments towards me that makes me feel less beautiful than other women. Truly a man that elevates me constantly and has mastered the art of making me feel like his number one. Thank you baby if you ever read this.
What I did:
The first 24 hours, I slept. This surprised me because I am not a person who sleeps a lot. I get up every morning at 5 am usually and generally don't feel tired. But I slept and only woke up for when the bell rang for meals. I had many grand plans to go hiking and hang out in the hot springs and attend all the yoga and meditation classes and yet... I slept. I was going to come back home fit, thin and yet I.... Slept. I would try to go to the library to read a book and my eyes would began to close. In one of the yoga classes, I thought I might cry from exhaustion so I didn't do anymore. My entire body powered down against my will. So I would find my room and sleep. My massage therapist (who has lived on this retreat for almost 15 years) explained to me on my second day that they are seeing this more and more. People coming to the retreat and walking around like zombies as they recover from the assault that electronics, cell towers and more have on their body. He explained how my body was finally having a chance to reset to the natural rhythms of the earth and get full uninterrupted sleep.
The hot springs:
The first morning I woke up, I realized I only had 15 minutes until breakfast started but I was so groggy and still in my walking zombie sleep mode that I needed a way to wake up before crawling into the dining room. So I decided to slip down to one of the hot springs. This was perfect timing as everyone else was waiting in the lodge for breakfast. The hot springs are clothing optional and as odd as that might sound to some, it is really only a problem if you have a gawking issue. It was women's only weekend so that was within the realm of my comfort zone. It is very nice not having to wrestle a wet swimsuit on and off but to simply hang your robe, get in and when you get out, put your robe back on. The hot springs sits over a slight cliff over looking the rushing river, a meadow with deer grazing, giant crows flying over head that seemed to act as guardians of the place. There were patches of snow everywhere, a beautiful fog mist over the valley and the hot spring temperature was perfect. Not too hot at all. As I dipped in my body started trembling and I thought I might cry. It was just so perfect and beautiful and exactly what my body needed. It was as though I was recieving a long over due warm embrace from Mother Nature. I laid there for 30 minutes and just teared, trembled and smiled at the sheer beauty of the whole experience. Completely alone and undisturbed.
The food:
I made it in time to breakfast before they stopped serving. The nice part about clothing optional and a natural hot spring is that instead of wrestling out of my suit and rinsing chlorine out of my hair, I simply combed my hair and stepped into my stretch pants and a fleece jacket and walked to breakfast. It was so ridiculously easy, I can understand why some people enjoy nude retreats although I'm not ready for that nor may never be. But I can appreciate why others do love the freedom that goes with it.
The food was amazing. I thought I might cry again. I think it is safe to say here at this point that I was very long over due for this kind of nourishing love. I even almost cried at my massage therapy session. The best way to describe the food is that it is as though you are eating real live breathing living vitamins. I thought I ate healthy at home until I ate at this place. The amount of vegetable available was almost overwhelming. My first meal was squash soup with a salad bar that was better than any salad bar I've seen. Quinoa with black eyed peas, steamed veggies, coconut yogurt, pumpernickel bread and more was served. Another meal consisted of sautéed diced Brussels sprouts with sweet potatoes, sweet onions and bell peppers. They even had scrambled eggs with spinach and artichoke hearts. It was so delicious and I ate two plate full every meal.
Going alone:
If you have never traveled alone, I recommend doing so at least once. I realized as the trip went on that I was able to do things I would not have normally done had I had a friend or my family with me. When you are traveling with someone else, you have to be in a constant state of anticipation for what everyone is going to need. Even if you have the easiest most fun travel partner in the world, you still have to work around what you think their expectations might be for the trip. I would not have slept the way I did had I been with someone else. My mind would not have given my body permission to completely power down and shut off. I would have pushed through and enjoyed my stay with them as we blended our expectations around each other. It helped me understand why my husband used to like to fish or camp alone better than he likes going with someone else. Not always, but sometimes. I get it now. Sometimes it nice to be free from other people's needs and expectations and tend to only your own.
Break from swipe and pay and materialism:
What was great about this retreat is that you pay for your stay when you arrive. Your food is paid for and I never once had to pull out my purse and my wallet. If I had gone on a trip anywhere else, I still would have had to plan my meals and cups of coffee and pay for extra activities. It was very nice to have a break from the constant electronic swipe that is now an embedded part of our lives. I also enjoyed the break from consumerism and materialism in general as well as the over packing rituals we often have. I arrived with only a pair of jeans, a pair of stretch pants, a few tops, my robe, a couple towels, my bedding, brush and toothbrush and a couple books. That was it. Next time I will take less and only bring a back pack.
My personal thoughts:
The trip was a good opportunity for me to really think deeply about a few things. I realized on the tip I don't enjoy motherhood as much as I could be. Whenever I thought about my daughter, I would feel stressed and worried. I didn't miss he but I would feel some thought of anxiety and hope she was safe and okay. You cannot call or email or text anyone at this place so I was out in a mental place where I had to trust that she was safe and okay. I had a chance to think about our relationship and the direction I want it to take. It is tough, because it is not 100% up to me. She's a person and holds half the stakes in the relationship. But I can definitely make some changes to the role I play and how I want to be remembered as a mom.
I missed my husband the entire time. I mentioned that above. And I kept thinking how much he would like the place too. I love traveling with my husband. And being away for a few days from him really made me appreciate him even more than I already do. It also gave me an opportunity to realize that we both deserve to be nourished and cared for. Not just me. As a result, I came home inspired to cook better and healthier and to do whatever I can to make sure he's eating well when he's home with his family.
Minimalism, simplicity. These were thoughts I was having before I left for my trip. And my trip confirmed for me that I want to go in this direction. After spending three days at a place that is free from electronics, off grid, self sustainable and produces very little trash.... Boom, it is the only way I want to live too. All I needed was a few clean clothes, a good book, access to healthy food, live close to nature, a heated room, clean water and I had everything I needed and I was happier than I've been in a long time. There were no toys, no gadgets, no unnecessary decorations... There was a beautiful library with lots of books, puzzles spread out on tables and windows with beautiful nature to gaze at.
Seeing how very little I needed to enjoy my time was life changing for me too. It made me realize I could very easily be happy living out of a backpack and enjoying the most basic amnesties without all the household clutter I have. And I think my husband would be happy this way too. We are nomads at heart for sure and this gives me something to work towards as we raise our daughter and simplify our home and expenses.
I'm scheduled to go back again on the next all women's weekend. I asked my husband if I can go every time it is for women only and he was happy to say yes to that. I think it does a w things for me. One, it gives me something to look forward to. To know that a break is coming on days when I'm struggling or feeling down. Two, keeps me on track with our long term goals. Three, gives me inspiration to find ways to care and nurture for myself, my husband and my daughter.
I went on the trip mainly to get a break from motherhood. When you are a stay at home mom, you don't really ever have a break. Even when you go on trips with your family, you are still charged with packing, laundry, making reservations, making sure everyone stays alive. That sort of thing. It would be as if my husband went on a vacation with his boss and employees. Lucky for me I have a husband who was supportive of me going. I missed him the entire time I was there. I've often heard stories of some women going on trips and not missing their husbands. I completely missed my husband and could not wait to see him again and threw my arms around him the moment I saw him. He is so kind, generous, makes me laugh and still chases after me with pats on the bottom and unmentionable squeezes. In the entire time I've known my husband in 20 years, he has only ever yelled at me once, never calls me a name and has never made comments towards me that makes me feel less beautiful than other women. Truly a man that elevates me constantly and has mastered the art of making me feel like his number one. Thank you baby if you ever read this.
The first 24 hours, I slept. This surprised me because I am not a person who sleeps a lot. I get up every morning at 5 am usually and generally don't feel tired. But I slept and only woke up for when the bell rang for meals. I had many grand plans to go hiking and hang out in the hot springs and attend all the yoga and meditation classes and yet... I slept. I was going to come back home fit, thin and yet I.... Slept. I would try to go to the library to read a book and my eyes would began to close. In one of the yoga classes, I thought I might cry from exhaustion so I didn't do anymore. My entire body powered down against my will. So I would find my room and sleep. My massage therapist (who has lived on this retreat for almost 15 years) explained to me on my second day that they are seeing this more and more. People coming to the retreat and walking around like zombies as they recover from the assault that electronics, cell towers and more have on their body. He explained how my body was finally having a chance to reset to the natural rhythms of the earth and get full uninterrupted sleep.
The hot springs:
The first morning I woke up, I realized I only had 15 minutes until breakfast started but I was so groggy and still in my walking zombie sleep mode that I needed a way to wake up before crawling into the dining room. So I decided to slip down to one of the hot springs. This was perfect timing as everyone else was waiting in the lodge for breakfast. The hot springs are clothing optional and as odd as that might sound to some, it is really only a problem if you have a gawking issue. It was women's only weekend so that was within the realm of my comfort zone. It is very nice not having to wrestle a wet swimsuit on and off but to simply hang your robe, get in and when you get out, put your robe back on. The hot springs sits over a slight cliff over looking the rushing river, a meadow with deer grazing, giant crows flying over head that seemed to act as guardians of the place. There were patches of snow everywhere, a beautiful fog mist over the valley and the hot spring temperature was perfect. Not too hot at all. As I dipped in my body started trembling and I thought I might cry. It was just so perfect and beautiful and exactly what my body needed. It was as though I was recieving a long over due warm embrace from Mother Nature. I laid there for 30 minutes and just teared, trembled and smiled at the sheer beauty of the whole experience. Completely alone and undisturbed.
The food:
I made it in time to breakfast before they stopped serving. The nice part about clothing optional and a natural hot spring is that instead of wrestling out of my suit and rinsing chlorine out of my hair, I simply combed my hair and stepped into my stretch pants and a fleece jacket and walked to breakfast. It was so ridiculously easy, I can understand why some people enjoy nude retreats although I'm not ready for that nor may never be. But I can appreciate why others do love the freedom that goes with it.
The food was amazing. I thought I might cry again. I think it is safe to say here at this point that I was very long over due for this kind of nourishing love. I even almost cried at my massage therapy session. The best way to describe the food is that it is as though you are eating real live breathing living vitamins. I thought I ate healthy at home until I ate at this place. The amount of vegetable available was almost overwhelming. My first meal was squash soup with a salad bar that was better than any salad bar I've seen. Quinoa with black eyed peas, steamed veggies, coconut yogurt, pumpernickel bread and more was served. Another meal consisted of sautéed diced Brussels sprouts with sweet potatoes, sweet onions and bell peppers. They even had scrambled eggs with spinach and artichoke hearts. It was so delicious and I ate two plate full every meal.
Going alone:
If you have never traveled alone, I recommend doing so at least once. I realized as the trip went on that I was able to do things I would not have normally done had I had a friend or my family with me. When you are traveling with someone else, you have to be in a constant state of anticipation for what everyone is going to need. Even if you have the easiest most fun travel partner in the world, you still have to work around what you think their expectations might be for the trip. I would not have slept the way I did had I been with someone else. My mind would not have given my body permission to completely power down and shut off. I would have pushed through and enjoyed my stay with them as we blended our expectations around each other. It helped me understand why my husband used to like to fish or camp alone better than he likes going with someone else. Not always, but sometimes. I get it now. Sometimes it nice to be free from other people's needs and expectations and tend to only your own.
Break from swipe and pay and materialism:
What was great about this retreat is that you pay for your stay when you arrive. Your food is paid for and I never once had to pull out my purse and my wallet. If I had gone on a trip anywhere else, I still would have had to plan my meals and cups of coffee and pay for extra activities. It was very nice to have a break from the constant electronic swipe that is now an embedded part of our lives. I also enjoyed the break from consumerism and materialism in general as well as the over packing rituals we often have. I arrived with only a pair of jeans, a pair of stretch pants, a few tops, my robe, a couple towels, my bedding, brush and toothbrush and a couple books. That was it. Next time I will take less and only bring a back pack.
My personal thoughts:
The trip was a good opportunity for me to really think deeply about a few things. I realized on the tip I don't enjoy motherhood as much as I could be. Whenever I thought about my daughter, I would feel stressed and worried. I didn't miss he but I would feel some thought of anxiety and hope she was safe and okay. You cannot call or email or text anyone at this place so I was out in a mental place where I had to trust that she was safe and okay. I had a chance to think about our relationship and the direction I want it to take. It is tough, because it is not 100% up to me. She's a person and holds half the stakes in the relationship. But I can definitely make some changes to the role I play and how I want to be remembered as a mom.
I missed my husband the entire time. I mentioned that above. And I kept thinking how much he would like the place too. I love traveling with my husband. And being away for a few days from him really made me appreciate him even more than I already do. It also gave me an opportunity to realize that we both deserve to be nourished and cared for. Not just me. As a result, I came home inspired to cook better and healthier and to do whatever I can to make sure he's eating well when he's home with his family.
Minimalism, simplicity. These were thoughts I was having before I left for my trip. And my trip confirmed for me that I want to go in this direction. After spending three days at a place that is free from electronics, off grid, self sustainable and produces very little trash.... Boom, it is the only way I want to live too. All I needed was a few clean clothes, a good book, access to healthy food, live close to nature, a heated room, clean water and I had everything I needed and I was happier than I've been in a long time. There were no toys, no gadgets, no unnecessary decorations... There was a beautiful library with lots of books, puzzles spread out on tables and windows with beautiful nature to gaze at.
Seeing how very little I needed to enjoy my time was life changing for me too. It made me realize I could very easily be happy living out of a backpack and enjoying the most basic amnesties without all the household clutter I have. And I think my husband would be happy this way too. We are nomads at heart for sure and this gives me something to work towards as we raise our daughter and simplify our home and expenses.
I'm scheduled to go back again on the next all women's weekend. I asked my husband if I can go every time it is for women only and he was happy to say yes to that. I think it does a w things for me. One, it gives me something to look forward to. To know that a break is coming on days when I'm struggling or feeling down. Two, keeps me on track with our long term goals. Three, gives me inspiration to find ways to care and nurture for myself, my husband and my daughter.
1 comment:
I love that picture SO much. I must have stared at it for ten minutes. Your writing is very calm and beautiful and I enjoy it.
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